An Update

Your last cube monkey has left the building....ala Elvis. June 6th was actually my last day of official employment but I had really checked out far earlier then that...thanks for the paychecks anyway. The funny thing is they did the exact same thing to me as the other cube monkey; not paying me the full amount I had worked. I sent a few emails and lets just say they more then fixed the problem, kudos to them for being dumbasses.


After 8 months working in the cesspool of HR, PR, ethics and human waste its great to be back in a normal work environment. Its wonderful not getting updates on employees I don't know and don't care about, incredible not getting reminders of how long lunch is suppose to be and simply amazing not forcing a fake smile for 9 hours a day while I try not to start a merciless fight with every not so innocent co-worker I can find. Work place violence is not always a good thing, I understand that, but christ I can see how it happens.


I always told my fellow cube monkeys we were worth a hell of a lot more then what they wanted us to believe. Maybe not for dialing numbers and talking to the bottom feeders of the world but as humans with our level of intelligence we were settling for far too little. And get this, I was right, within 2 weeks of leaving I had job offers all better then what I was earning previously. Same holds true for the other monkeys, no longer are we settling for Plan F,G or H it was back to the standard A and B.


I think these blog posts are a lot funnier when one of us is royally pissed off and uses this to vent but I guess recently there hasn't been as much of a need for it. I guess I'll just decide to unleash my anger on something less deserving.....stay tuned

I quit my job today

Are you jealous? Thats right fuckers, I walked out...couldnt even make it to the end of the day. At will employment=no 2 week notice necessary.

Instead of focusing on the "now what?" question, I'd like to discuss the "why did you quit?" issue...considering I have an answer for that.

Well actually I have at least ten answers for that.

#1) Poor lead quality: As discussed below. I cant stress enough how fucking ridiculous and frustrating it is to get no actual leads and sort through tons of bullshit old ones, finally get one person actually interested in going to school, and have them tell you they are getting married and want to wait till the fall. Perfectly reasonable or not, that person is an asshole.
#2) Even when I get someone to answer the phone, I'm not always happy about that.... as they are often painstaking to talk to.
#3) I realized today, that the only positive about the job was the possibility of making a lot of money....meaning an unjustifiable amount of money. Well, today I realized that it would realistically take 9 months to get there--meaning, to actually receive that better salary, I'd be looking at having worked at this current miserable situation for at least 2-3 years. Holy fuck. If there is a way to waste my 20's, that would be it.
#4) Micromanaging bosses
#5) Barraging emails from people that worked in either a toy store, or the manufacturing department of Summer's Eve. Basically, these emails were written by children (the ones my kids will beat the shit out of), or real fucking douche bags. 2nd hand douche bags even.
#6) Liars, and the lies they tell. There is only so much listening to my boss break the law and tell a niave, young person that they will make 80-90k as a starting salary. The lack of morality was astounding.
#7) 75k for a nationally accredited online university? And the only financial aid available comes from the federal government? Okay, as some people put it "fully accredited" ... unless of course you wanted to go to graduate school or transfer those credits, in which you would hear "we dont recognize that institution as a school."
#8) This education is good for ... almost nobody. Ever wonder how a school can have a graduation rate of 52% and a retention rate of 26%. Thats George W. Bush math.
#9) If you can't keep your promise about giving me a $10 giftcard for winning a contest, I'm sure as fuck now going to trust your promises about how much damn money I can make.
#10) Existing is no way to go through life.