"...our war is a spiritual war"

That's right, in today's society of accepted science and morality having elevated itself a notch above religion, people are allowed to think, explore and redefine. The publicized values based on an underlying good have been plagued with enough wrongs to undo the right. Enough of it all I'll say, there is no need. That is unless your IQ has something in common with my high school's average soccer score. What is it about us that we feel so vulnerable without believing in something far more powerful then ourselves who has the capability to keep us safe if only we continue to please him. What type of messed up parenting is this? It was once explained to me that god loves us more then our parents, more then your dog, he in fact loves us unconditionally. If you believe that then where does the whole hell thing come in. It was once asked why god doesn't stop bad things from happening? I mean he could do that right? "We'll he just allows them to happen", for reasons beyond our primitive brains full understanding so I was told. Well god, piss off. Bystanders of murder are charged as accomplices. In the interest of making a point I'd like to sue god. He has it coming with all the injustices he has allowed to happen: Cancer, AIDS, natural disasters, trees falling on beavers... It's not right and it's high time god pay up for all this crap. What happened to nirvana, and an ego-less society? What? An apple was eaten? Piss off!

I'm sorry to all the faithful who feel the need to wrap themselves in a blanket full of ignorance and bliss but why can't we evolve out of the religious sect of witchcraft? Isn't it time we govern ourselves upon higher principles of humanity and spirituality rather then superstition and religion? The laws of some douche pickle god have no place in a time when we have the power to do more good then at any point in previous history and yet through a brainwash of fear we hold back and ignore what even religion will tell you...love thy neighbor, treat others as you would treat yourself, share, love and keep your coloring within the lines. Ignore the bullshit of religion...espectially the hypocritical parts of it, we're smarter then that.

We are ONE, for and with another. It's that simple.

abortion was the answer to the question his mother should have asked

Lets get one thing straight, actors are by nature just barely more important then what I pick out of my belly button. Every now and then something comes along that pisses me off to a level of unreasonable rage. The kind of rage that makes me look at something innocent and destroy its every existence, to be so pissed off as to go looking for unjustified pain upon others. My most recent destruction of inanimate objects occurred when I was reminded of an actor on CSI whose trademark style something only the truly demented and evil could enjoy. Any viewer of the show will recognize the over dramatic crime scene investigator who while speaking slowly and in a monotone, rephrases every last statement as a mimicking question and picking the least logical scenario and through the magic of writing becomes right. It pains me to not fully understand how this so effectively kills part of my soul every time I witness it but its the number of times its able to be viewed that plays a factor. Similar to scanning the cover of every single month of MensFitness will undoubtedly reveal a headline concerning "6 pack abs in 6 weeks", CSI will predictably play out exactly what I have described more times then you can count during the hour of product whoring. The problem occurs because every time I see it I get closer to firebombing a church...

I would rather smash my face into a series of large mirrors then watch this show or anything else this actor has ruined. I would rather suffocate myself with a bar of soap or fall off my bike drafting that semi then see this guy take his sunglasses off with a head turn in slow-mo again. I'm not the only one who feels this way as good news has recently come out that the character has been killed off, going beyond slow-mo, he is in a permanent still shot. I'm not saying that guy should die for creating such a horrible force of awfulness, but fast tracking that inevitable meeting with the maker couldn't hurt anyone. Please go play in traffic, and when I say traffic I mean a dark highway, just beyond a steep hill and a blind turn within a mile or two of a bar known to over serve patrons.

Born Free into a Cage

That's it, I'm screwed up, I don't fit or belong here when here is considered normal society. I look at people and I'm jealous, not because I want to be them but because they somehow fit the bill for success in this time and place, at least on a mental level. On paper I am gifted with everything any human could possibly want on the build list at birth, not the least of which was being born into a family that spoke English and lived in America. It puzzles the daylights out of me how I fit the bill for high probability of success right now in some views but it is because I so desperately wish that I was still hunting for survival that I am nearly incapable of fitting into the pigeon hole of an alternative adaptation for the modern man. I DO NOT FIT HERE! I would like to be scared out of my mind trying to kill a buffalo with wooden spears and finely chiseled stone. I would like to be at the risk of the weather, changing herds and a mirage of other impossible to overcome variables. I am in constant search of something that feels even vaguely close to the real life we all use to lead such a relatively short time ago. The part of my brain that says I'd like to keep you warm and safe is now almost permanently turned off for the simple reason that it's never had to be on. I stare over the edge of cliffs, I play with guns, I climb mountains and trees, I like to ride motorcycles in the rain, I've done an ironman triathlon, I enjoy bombing down steep declines at 57mph on human powered two wheelers with semi trucks passing inches away and suddenly I'm getting the ingenious idea of drafting the truck for more speed. I know that I am not the average but there is no way I am different. Normal people take risks everyday while driving and don't even realize it because suddenly they become complacent. I can't possibly be the only person that would have made a bad ass high plains Native American, or a incredibly advanced cave man. I wish I lived in a time of Troy and Cesar, I would have cleaned up in that time. Alexander? Alexshmander compared to the ME of B.C.! I don't want to be fixed either, I don't want my Ritalin, Prozac, herbal tea or daily jog circling the neighborhood. I want to do what I want when I want with the only motivators being hunger and immediate survival. Clothes, status, money, beautiful women defined by the tides of fashion...no. I want to feel alive. I want to be something greater then part of a colony of ants working together in harmony. I am rouge. I am brave and I am fearless. But wait...

I can't cut my umbilical cord to society. It's not that I cant do without it, but reasonably there are a few people in this world that would miss me if I went off the map even if I would get along without them. Is that an excuse? Is that really my excuse for caving in? Where the fuck did my backbone run off to? Should I buy into the fact that I really do make up a link within a greater chain? I read a quote by Aung San Suu Kyi - "It is part of the unceasing human endeavor to prove that the spirit of man can transcend the flaws of his own nature" and I guess it's time for me to evolve. Those flaws came from necessity of years past, not present. It's in my nature to say the weak die and nature is cruel. But I guess we are past that. I guess I'm past that and its time to accept my role, even if it is small. I am part of society no matter if I like that or not, I can either waste my ability pretending to be in danger all the time or actually make a difference if by no other way then being counted among the masses in support of a good cause. Mother Teresa once said "We can do no great things, only small things with great love", and I'm ready to embrace that. Strength in numbers is about the only thing society has going for it, but it is a start. We face more problems then ever before largely because together we have never been this far. It's all new and there is a steep learning curve. The reason we form society is to give ourselves more security, and while I still want to feel vulnerable at times maybe that's what motorcycles are for. Let's look out for one another, lets work together, lets help each other maximize our talents, lets look out for the little guy and the ones down on their luck. Lets not expect or demand the government to do this for us. I'll take heart in the idea that this small role becomes a big one when together we create a better place grow. So go to work, feed yourself with surprisingly little effort, make conscious decisions about life and the friendships you choose, create love. It might not all feel natural because, well, it isn't in some ways. But we are moving along and one day the history books of the future will look back and write a hopefully long section of our years in a positive tone using words such as progression, advancement, self-actualizing and ego-less. Lets all just remember that we are one; for and with another.

That's the kool-aid I'm drinking for today, and I made it myself.