Ways cube monkeys demonstrate superior skills of working, without really working:
Calling the IRS and placing them on hold while you leave your desk (increase talk-time again)
Calling a number and instantly putting them on hold, doing this several times in a row allows you to build up "talk time" without really talking to anyone.
( you can put many people on hold at once to dramatically increase talk time or to show the boss your "busy bee working, go getter attitude" )
Purposefully dialing disconnected #s
Creating a "list" of people who asked to be called but disrespected us in someway so that they may be punished. Why the fuck would you hang up on someone like me? I have 8 hrs. to call, your phone number, and nothing else to do... good luck giving everyone your new number dip shit.
Using staples to create different designs -- "staple art"
Talk to worthless a prospect for multiple reasons - wasting talk time, making fun of them, helping them re-discover and reminding them what loser's they are.
Discovering all that google has to offer "Street view" enough said
Realizing that those around us who are taking this very seriously spend plenty of time finding pictures for app updates so we spend equal amounts of time doing the same for our parody email responses to each other.
Continually emailing back and forth pointing out every imaginable problem or concern we have with each email.
Cleaning my desk
Listening to XM - x-rated comedy and Opie and Anthony online with one ear bud while starring into space and laughing out loud.
Being moved every 2 months for no reason whatsoever - cube juggling.
Know that you have a loser prospect on the phone. Drag out the conversation to get them engaged only to set up a big question, like, "what do you see
yourself doing in 3 to 5 years?" and then hang up on the dummy...knowing that they are on the other end blabbing about bullshit while you laugh and get
back on IM to share the joy
When a prospect hangs up on you... call back and say " HEY - I'm sorry, I think we got disconnected, and I ran over the phone cord with my wheel chair again" - got ya dummy!
Calling whatever the last number is every 10 mins so that managers monitoring us don't see hour long of idle time
Calling the IRS and placing them on hold while you leave your desk (increase talk-time again)
Calling a number and instantly putting them on hold, doing this several times in a row allows you to build up "talk time" without really talking to anyone.
( you can put many people on hold at once to dramatically increase talk time or to show the boss your "busy bee working, go getter attitude" )
Purposefully dialing disconnected #s
Creating a "list" of people who asked to be called but disrespected us in someway so that they may be punished. Why the fuck would you hang up on someone like me? I have 8 hrs. to call, your phone number, and nothing else to do... good luck giving everyone your new number dip shit.
Using staples to create different designs -- "staple art"
Talk to worthless a prospect for multiple reasons - wasting talk time, making fun of them, helping them re-discover and reminding them what loser's they are.
Discovering all that google has to offer "Street view" enough said
Realizing that those around us who are taking this very seriously spend plenty of time finding pictures for app updates so we spend equal amounts of time doing the same for our parody email responses to each other.
Continually emailing back and forth pointing out every imaginable problem or concern we have with each email.
Cleaning my desk
Listening to XM - x-rated comedy and Opie and Anthony online with one ear bud while starring into space and laughing out loud.
Being moved every 2 months for no reason whatsoever - cube juggling.
Know that you have a loser prospect on the phone. Drag out the conversation to get them engaged only to set up a big question, like, "what do you see
yourself doing in 3 to 5 years?" and then hang up on the dummy...knowing that they are on the other end blabbing about bullshit while you laugh and get
back on IM to share the joy
When a prospect hangs up on you... call back and say " HEY - I'm sorry, I think we got disconnected, and I ran over the phone cord with my wheel chair again" - got ya dummy!
Calling whatever the last number is every 10 mins so that managers monitoring us don't see hour long of idle time
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