By request - Hamsters
Lets start with admitting that once again these are adorable creatures. And you know what? For a small percentage of these little bastards that live in households of the western nations this very cuteness is the basis for a viable survival strategy. Yes, thanks to many a children’s desire to hold something furry and reasonable parents need for a low maintenance pet, we have the domesticated hamster. Let’s be honest here, human and hamster relationships are not natural. There are no cave paintings depicting a hamster helping our hunter/gatherer ancestors with a big hunt of bison and woolly mammoth. It’s the recent adaptation of humans holding captive the tiny rodent(yea that’s what they are really called) for our own amusement. Perhaps it illustrates that on some level we would like to get back to our caveman roots…how else can you explain otherwise normal human beings fascination of these creatures doing incredibly boring things in order to live in the plastic 30 gallon sized container that is their world. Are we that fascinated by a creature eating when it is hungry, running endlessly on a wheel(feels like many a cube monkey job) or frustratingly burrowing in half a centimeter of wood chips? How much possible enjoyment can one person get out of “taking care” of an animal that, if placed back in its natural habitat, would survive completely on its own? I mean really this brings up all sorts of psychological, playing god questions and maybe those who like to rule the hamsters are really searching for more control in their own lives. But I digress I’m getting off subject, this post is about hamsters and the odd and somewhat worthless role they play in the world I know.
Hamsters are the bottom of the food chain, and while that is in itself important, I just want to point out that depending on where they live in the wild they truly are on the menu for everything from snakes to eagles. You remember my favorite animal, the eagle, right? Yea I bet little hamsters everywhere know and fear the eagle. Cute little balls of joy know the only defense against extinction they have is breeding like mad. And in fact that is how the bigger prey are bigger: genetics and…volume baby! Yes, they eat lots of these little guys. But christ, there won’t be much of the fun associated with creating more of your kind as happy meals while being stuck in that neon plastic palace created with love and care by the caregivers, thank you PetSmart. Hamsters only live 2-3 years in captivity, thus providing a nice life lesson and traumatic event of childhood to the young caregivers and employing a therapist for an hour or two down the road as a result. All and all this is a horrible setup for everyone involved. Leave them in the wild were they are most useful and tasty.
I was challenged to pick on something even cuter then a penguins, and I did. The only thing more worthless then a penguin is a hamper in captivity. I hope I have shamed anyone thinking of owning a hamster to not own one, thereby keeping snakes and eagles everywhere slightly more full. Any more topics you would like my highly bias opinion on?
