Penguins, what a pointless animal, granted they are adorable and I'm man enough to admit that. But seriously can't we all just agree they are on their way out, I mean its kinda the last straw for them don’t we think? Lets think about this: first off you are a bird who is better at walking then flying…cause well your wings are now more like useless flippers. Anyway I saw March of the Penguins and it convinced me that we are not gonna be seeing these little guys much longer outside of the zoo. Think about it. Put yourself in their situation. You live on ice, that sucks, you can barely survive doing this but you are stranded on this island of ice because...well., you missed the tectonic plate boat that everyone else got on and you're on the last part of the life cycle were death and extinction is right around the corner. But lets get back to my point. The only way you can get food is if you jump in the ocean (also super cold) and try to find the food….at the very same time you are putting yourself on the menu for killer whales and faster then crap seals. This is god's way of giving you the “you are not needed here any more memo” apparently you failed your performance review and its time to start seeking immediate employment elsewhere…..I mean christ I take back the fact that you walk better then you fly, that wasn’t a far stretch since you really cant fly, but what you do can hardly be considered walking, stupid little waddle….but seriously you actually slide on your belly faster then you walk OMG what is the deal!?! How pathetic do you look compared to a bald eagle, does that make you feel just a little short changed about the whole situation? I mean your main survival feature is…..blubber and conserving energy by moving as little as possible, how awesome. You are the fatasses of the animal kingdom and are mitigated to a life of complete boredom in the natural freezer humans call Antarctica...jesus some may call that adaptation(with success being merely surviving). I say that's dying slowly with no end game and a poorly executed adaptation strategy. Similar to the struggle of a skinny polar bear trying to claw its way back onto an iceberg. I bet the grizzly and black bear don't feel this way. Let go guys, accept your fate...just close your eyes and exhale. Face it you had a snowballs chance in hell of making it long term.
My Monday sucked, can you tell?...everyone should feel my pain. Bring on global warming, oil tanker disasters, and another Bush for president....I'm ready to suffer in the name of self pitty just like the stupid penguins...attention loving bastards.
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